Kinga

integration...

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:20:14 GMT

The last couple of days we spent on the office integration trip. It was great. Not that we have integrated much, but we definitely had lots of fun :)
So, on Wednesday morning we took of for Krakow. There, at the station, 5 Toyota 4X4's were waiting for us and off we went. To the forest, desert, random offroads and we could do whatever we wanted. Go into the water, mountains, corn fields... anything! Aparently, I was the best driver out of all people in my office :) It was awesome! So from now on, I am the offroad queen!

After that, all dirty, smelly and sweaty, we went to our hotel - the Sheraton. Sheraton is the most expensive, fanciest 5 star hotel in Krakow - and of ocurse it has the best view of the river and the Vavel (the royal castle). It was just splendid - espeically the look on the faces of other guests :)
Then - clubbing all night long and relaxing in a hotel spa. And on Thursday - visiting and salt mine in Wieliczka, roaming aorund the tiny streets of old Krakow and Kazimierz, shopping, etc... just chilling out.

And now, it's my mom's birthday so I am relaxing at home :) And going back to warsaw tomorrow early afternoon...

being myself again...

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 19:22:10 GMT

I started concidering closing my LJ account, simply beacue I hardly ever write anymore.

Anyhow, in the past ocuple of months that I haven't posted anything, I did not die not did anything constructive. I changed my job, moved to a new place, stayed at home for couple of weeks and lost thousand of dollars on stock market (which is undergoing a huge crisis in Poland right now).
And besides being absent on facebook, I was sort of absent in life too. I know, sounds weird, but I wasn't quite myself lately.
Actually, what bothers me most is the fact, that I am not doing or studying anything that I like. I mean, I am good at what I'm doing and I know that, but it's not what I really want to do. And so now I am trying to do everything to make at least some of my dreams come true.
I am reading tons of books - half of them by Halik and Kapuscinski - Poland's most famour travellers and reporters of all times. The other half - books about Indian history. I need them to write the book I have always wanted to write.
And I am slowly figuring out a way to go out there - see the world, write about the world, show how beautiful it is.
And so I treat my current job as a sort of passage, only temporary condition and I truly hope that soon I will be able to do what I want to :)
I'll try to be more alive on LJ and keep you all posted as we go.

Princeton

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 22:27:58 GMT

Last week I went to Princeton for couple of days. I had certain things to finilize, but I also wanted to see my friends and school again. To sort of see how I feel about it now, how much do I regret my decisions.
From the moment I landed I felt that urge, forceful drive to have things, to buy objects which I don't really need. American drive for "having" got to me immediately and it felt like a terrible burden.
Princeton itself is as beautiful as always. Although, Butler college doesn't exist and my room is burried somewhere under the ground. It is no longer. The walls where i hang all my planes, the window from which I could watch sunrise on those long long nights... All of that is gone.
And so it was great to be a stranger at a place which ones was supposedly your home away from home and where I never felt in peace. Even now, I knew it was not for me, I felt completely out of place and not fitting in. Such a relief that I did not feel any dissapointment about leaving P-ton :)
And people... some of them are not there anymore. Yeah, though Princeton hasn't changed in 250 years or so, the people did and hence it's becoming more and more alien to me. My old friends are still there, but by now there are so many differences between us, that probably soon we will have nothing to talk about. I know nothing about their lives, they don't understand mine. We're a generation apart.
I think I will go and visit again, just as a tourist. And P-ton will only be a touristic spot on a map of USA for me.
No regrets, no going back.

is it still being adult, or getting old already?

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 22:19:30 GMT

I cut my hair today. No big deal one would say, but for some reason it hit me. You see, I didn't want to do it. I like my hair long and I've been growing them for the past 4 years. And now I got a haircut, just becasue it's more apropriate at work and looks more profesional. Whatever that means.
And from then on tons of thoughts followed...
When is it that one becomes truly adult? Certainly not when you turn 18 and certainly not when you move out of your parents' home. And I figured, that it's when your decisions are determined not by your own good, but buy doing what's best for others around you, for you love. And so, the moment I started making choices only because of my mom's good and well being I moved from being an adolosent to an adult.
And I also noticed other things about me today. I was actually enjoying cooking! That's never happened before. I mean, I know how to cook and I cook reasonably well, but I never really enjoyed it. But today I did. Also today I was going nuts after seeing kids in the streets - they were all cute and sweet and adorable. And I suddenly felt that I want one too. That I am ready for it.
And on top of all that, I noticed first wrinkles around my eyes.

And although I love my life as it is, I think this is it. I captured my spirit and drive for adventure and adrenaline in my office, cute apartment and new car. Now all that energy is directed towaards kids, housework and settling down.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:59:34 GMT

trips home are always interesting. This one was too.
Although, I like going home for 2-3 days, walking around the woods with my grandpa listening to his war time stories, then sitting with my mom in a warm kitchen over a glass of tea and discussing world affairs. I really like it once in a while - that little town mentality, sence of being timeless. I really cherish those rare moments of just me and my mom and our little, perfect life :)

This time, besides all those cute little things, my mom, for the first time ever, started talking about getting old and me not being fully settled. She actually started pressing me to get married and have kids. Even now. No more talking about independence, carreer or education - family, kids, husband and disposible diapers. That was the topic for the weekend. Is it really the time? I don't think so... but maybe?

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 20:29:05 GMT

oh, and I am going to the US next week to visit some friends :) So if you happen to be in NYC area around 15th, let me know :)

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 20:28:15 GMT

Although I have dissapeared for a quarter of a year, I am back and alive!
As for things that happened, it would take another quarter of a year to descrbe everything, but I will put it short and try to update my blog regularly, especially now that I am back at home and somewhat following a daily routine...

1. India. Well, the trip was amazing. I can't believe how fast India is changing... I had a great time - travelled a bit, visited my best friend and her family and went crazy shopping! I can't wait to go there again next year...

2. Work. For now it's still sort of an internship (trial period), but most likely I will stay at P&G. And I am really hoping for it, becasue I like my job a lot.

3. I am moving to a new apartment in a month or so. I found an amazing place and I can't wait to move! It will be so exciting!

4. I found a japanese teacher. And I will be studying spanish and japanese starting in october! Exciting!!!

Sun, 20 May 2007 22:25:55 GMT

oh, and one more cool thing I found today! If only I had found a month earlier, I would have bought it for India :) Very useful!

http://www.vivavi.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=31_182&products_id=250

Sun, 20 May 2007 22:18:38 GMT

I found my dream apartment today! It is absolutely gorgeous and I really want it! It's 225 m2 plus 100 m2 terrace and 2 parking spots. And it costs almost 1,5 million dollars! hhmmm.... will I ever be able to afford it?

Sat, 19 May 2007 20:36:23 GMT

Today I was cleaning my room and I was also rearranging my clothes. I was shocked to see how many of my old clothes, which did not fit me for ages, are now good. I also checked my weight and compared it with last year. I lost over 30kg in less than a year and went down by 6 sizes! Now I am more or less half way through - another 6 sizes to go and 30 more kg and I will look like a normal human being :)
From this perspective all of my health problems from before the accident and my time spent in the States seem very foreign. Now I can function, I don't go to bed traumatized, becasue I don't know what is going to happen during the night, and finally I start losing weight after all those years of diets and hours spent at the gym. Now I am eating everything I want and excercising not more than 2 hours a day and I start looking and feeling amazing. I live in a dream and I still fear that one day I am going to wake up and realize, that it never happened....

on a different note, I bought a car yesterday. Mitsubishi colt. Pretty. 3 doors, very small and girlish, with small engine and nice blue color.

finally in cyberspace again :)

Mon, 14 May 2007 20:14:30 GMT

OK, I know I have not been active on LJ recently, but I was really busy. Or actually, I wasn't here most of the time...

OK, anyhow, I will start with Spain first. It was totally amazing!!! I loved Spain so much, that I can't wait to go back :)I have walked around all of Madrid, including such cool things like dolphin show, corrida and flamenco shows. I also went to Salamanca and Segovia. It was really great!
Spending a week with Yver, whom I haven't seen since MUWCI, was really nice. It's amazing to see how our lives have changed, but in fact, have not changed at all... we are as confused as we were 3 years ago, haha. We also met Malte in Salamanca and it was really nice as well.
Anyhow, by the time i had to go back I could even communicate in Spanish, which I thought was quite impressive :)

As for other things, I had another 3 interviews and I have one more on Wednesday, this time for Kraft foods. I also got my first offer from Procter & Gamble. It's only an internship for now, but it pays better than any other job I have ever had and if I live with my friends, I will earn enough to pay my school yuition for the next year. And then I hope to get a longer contract, but we will see :)
On the other hand, if I get an offer from Kraft, I will probably go there simply becasue Kraft gives me a contract for a full year, not just 3 months. And that would make a big difference... I will see how it goes on Wednesday.

Other things. I heard a compliment from my aunt today and I could not believe my own ears!!! She'd rather die than say something nice about me!!! So yeah, I was quite shocked and I think I still am...

Oh, and as for other news... my mom wasnts to build a house. She's looking for a land to buy and she wants a house with a big garden. Great. I need to earn a lot and learn more about stock market... haha

Anything else? hhmm... well, my summer plans are going to change. I'll be in India only for one month and I can't go to Princeton in mid September.

Oh, and I know that I want to try to look for a job as a photographer. I am going to do a 2 year bachalor in photography and next season I am starting a commercial piloting training. LOT has lowered their piloting requirements becasue they are buying 8 new dreamliners from Boeing, what means they need about 100 new pilots :) All within next 5 years!!! COMMERCIAL AVIATION - I AM COMING :)

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 06:06:51 GMT

I am packing for Spain. Bought a travel guide, loundry is done (still wet), charging batteries in my cameras, cleaning lenses and memory cards. oh, and I have to go buy new pair of trousers, cos all the ones I have are too big now, and given that Spain is probably quite hot at this time of the year, I don't want to take black jeans.

I also think I want to go to Seven Sisters and Darjeeling in India and make a nice trip through all the Indian Tea States. It would be totally awesome! And I really want to sell it later on, so that I have money for a next trip. This photographer saw some of my photos and he says they're pretty good. I need to work a little bit more with the camera to get a better feel of it, but even then my photos are good. I know that my writing is excelent, I wrote a series of articles to the local newspaper and everybody thought they were actually good. So, perhpas when I get back from India I will try to sell my trip to let's say, National Geographic :) Or some other magazine :) That would be great!

Anyhow, back to packing and organizing all the other things that need to be done before I take off :)

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:06:16 GMT

We went for a walk in the old park today. Old Park is a very unique place. That's where my town was born, where its name was born and where all of its history is baried. They say, that there used to be a castle on the hill with a beautiful garden around. Well, there are no signs of a castle or a palace there, and garden... well, it looks nothing like a garden. It's wild like a jungle and reminds me of a secret garden before it was discovered by Marry. And though I haven't seen any roses there, I know that there are some other secrets, treasured and mysteries waiting to be discovered.
In the hill there used to be a secret tunnel which was used during Tatar wars as a way to escape from the town. They say it used to be 40 kms long, but no one really knows if it's true. After the war, it went all the way to this other little town nearby, about 12 kms. I can hardly believe it, but my grandpa told me that he himself went all the way to the other end of the tunnel himself, so probably it's true. It's also possible, that this secret pass went all the way to this other city, but for that, we shall only ask the ghosts which still guard this place.
When we were walking around this ruined place, trying to find any signs or reminders of its past beauty, I suddenly saw a house that I want. It was there, on that hill, all majestic and beautiful. And then I saw the garden - with a little river and tiny bridges over it, fountain in the middle, half wild ivy and roses. I saw it, and it didn't go away. I can still see it, just the way I have always imagined wonderland to be. And I know what I want to do. I want to buy this old park, renovate it and build my dream house there. I know it's not going to be easy, if at all possible, but I want to give it a shot. Perhaps I can go to some archives and see if there are any journals, sketches, paintings of the old castle and I could make the new one look at least a bit like the real one. I could rebuild the history!

>>><<<

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 23:23:26 GMT

My granpa thinks I'm a freak, because I don't do anything with my life. I should get a job, finish school, have babies... as for now, I'm useles!

Anyhow, nothing can possibly get me in a bad mood, since I know I'm off to India soon :)

Oh, btw, you know you're a total health freak when you start drinking only water and green tea without sugar.
Conclusion: I AM A TOTAL HEALTH FREAK!

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:21:56 GMT

I just bought a ticket to India!!!!! I am leaving on May 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND IT WAS SUPER CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONLY $600 IN BRITISH AIRWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so so so so so so so SUPER HAPPY!!!!

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 13:31:48 GMT

My mom is in a very bad mood and my grandpa is pissing her off even more. On top of that, I have tons of things to do today (and think that I was supposed to go hiking...)

1. My mother's project of some ecological something, which I don't really understand, but for some reason, I have to do it.
2. My mom's scauting team camp which is coming up in 2 weeks
3. My mom's project of an open lesson which she has to present on Monday
4. Once I'm done with all that, I have dishe, laundry, cleaning the whole house (and being quite so that my grandpa can calmly and peacefuly watch TV)
5. Prepare some nice dinner, cos my mom is in a bad mood
6. Go swimming? (not happening, trust me and my mom will certainly find a reason why...)
7. Send ten more job applications, i.e. write ten more cover letters
8. send an e-mail to Yver with my flight details

That would be all when it comes to urgent things. On top of that, I have to be all smily and happy and pretend that I am not bothered when everyone is shourting at me becasue they're in a bad mood. BUT NOBODY EVER ASKS ME IF I AM OK AND HOW AM I FEELING!!!!!!! And if I were in a bad mood and tried to show it, you would know who is responsible for the beginning of WW3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

update...

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 21:47:01 GMT

there are days when I am totally lost and start regretting dropping out of Princeton. Seriously. There are days, when I feel totally hopeles and I feel that I am wasting my time and my life. But sometimes, life is not all that bad ;)

OK, I am going to start with the bad things.
1. PriceWaterHouse Coopers really pissed me off. It's not like I wanted to work for them anyways, but still. So bascially, after my third interview (during my second I was told that I pretty much got the job) they told me that they can't employ me becasue I am not a fifth year student. I was shocked. I mean, how am I supposed to be a fifth year student of my previous university is a 4 year college? WTF?
2. My Procter interview went well, but they haven't called me yet, so I don't think I got this job. Damn it.
3. I just realized, in a very brutal way, that all those super expensive boutiques and clothing stores are certainly not going bankrupt! And there are people, in fact a lot of them, who shop there regularly. And seriously, why is it so depressing? Perhaps because I just saw a hair clip which was rather on a cheap side, and yet costed more than my mom's half year's salary! And it wasn't even a diamond hair clip!

OK, good news.
1. All those fights with my mom over the past two months are finally yelding some results. Yesterday she bought a normal yoghurt (one of those fruity, artificially flavoured with a pund of sugar in each 100 grams) and she didn't like it. She said, that the natural fat free non suger, mixed with fresh fruit is much much better. Seriously, I treat is a personal victory! Maybe, but just maybe, if I try hard and long enough I will teach her some good and healthy habits :)
2. I went down by one size :) YAY!!!
3. When I was in Warsaw, Michal didn't recognize me. We were suppsoed to meet for lunch and he walked just pass me and he didn't recognize me! When I finally waved at him, he was like a little boy - didn't know what to say, cos aparently I looked "beautiful and stunning". Well, as a matter of fact, it was the first time he saw me with my hair lose, waring something else than yoga pants and with full make-up. But still, I did make me feel a tiny bit better about myself :)
4. All the documents needed to sell the land that I have are finally at the lawyer's and next week are supposed to sign them and I will finally get rid of that problem. I don't know what makes me more happy - the fact that I will get rid of that land and that side of the "family", or that it will make me super rich for about 2 days?
5. I am planning my trip to India, and if I dodn't get a job, it will be a trip around South East Asia and will last about 3-4 months :)
6. Now, given the amount of money I will probably have on my bank account next week, I will pay back all my Princeton debts and invest the rest. I thought I'd buy an apartment, but no, not yet. If I manage to invest this money only half as good as I've been doing till now, I will not have to work and I can be a full time student and a part time students and doe 2 or 3 different majors at a time, and yet afford an apartment for myself - no housemates, no roomates, etc. Of course, it will not be so pretty of the market breaks down, but hey, it's all going well for now, so why should I worry about what's gonna happen in 4-5 years?
7. I took some really cool photos over the past few days and the photographer I used to work for couple of years ago thinks, that I have that something. He wants to employ me (if I decided to stay at home) and help me, if I decide to make a career in photography. But seriously, no matter how cool it sounds, why would I want to study math, econ and law at the same time if I wanted to become a super popular photographer, earning tons of money and getting to know all the important people of polish social sphere?

OK, that's all about the good and bad news. Time to go to sleep :)
oh, and I just took a super long shower and I feel better than in the past one week, when I started to believe that I am spending more time sleeping in my car than in my bed...

finally an update...

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 12:03:16 GMT

ok, so I am back at home after the most amazing Easter of my life!
On the day we arrived, we went to see the town and check out what is there to see. I spent over an hour taking pictures of swans (!).
Given we were staying in a hotel with SPA, we were spending a lot of time every morning in different pools, having massages, etc... it was really relaxing, and I strongly reccomend it to everyone :)
On the second day, which was the Saturday, we went to this other town, Klodzko. There was an amazing underground labirynth and we went there basically to see that. There were also some beautiful castles near by, but most of them were closed due to the holidays... But in either way, we've seen Klodzko with it's amazing underground and castle and few other castles in the area :)
On Easter Sunday we went hiking! It was totally amazing! These mountains there look like they're shark's teeth or something... they are rocky labirynths where it's very easy to get lost... seriously, the hike was amazing :)
On Easter Monday we went to another place like this, this time in Czeck Republic. This time it was a rocky town - amazing rocks, upto 140 m high, a lot of them so thin that I was surprised they're still standing. We were walking around that "town" for over 4 hours and we didn't even see half of it!
At the end, we went shopping in Czeck Republic :)
On Tuesday we were going home, but first we went to this cave, called Bear's cave. The name came from the fact, that once the cave was discovered, scientists found a lot of bones of a mountain bear.
The cave itself is the most beautiful cave I've ever been to.
Right from there, we went to Opole to see Asia. She was my zero-year in MUWCI. After MUWCI she spent a year in Ethiopia and now she's going to study at Middlebury. If some of you think that I am a bit crazy, trust me, in comparison with her, I am not. In fact, I am the most normal and calm person in the world...
Anyhow, we came home after midnight :)

As for other things, I applied to another 5 or 6 companies today, I am in the process of writing a letter to Wilko, I finished sorting the pictures and I am trying to upload them on facebook, but my internet is so slow that it's taking me half an hour to upload 2 pics...
As for other things, I don't really have time anymore. I have an interview at Procter&Gamble tomorrrow, so I am busy with that. Warsaw tomorrow... omg...

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 21:00:52 GMT

I wanted to update my LJ today, but I am too tired to do it, so I will leave it for tomorrow.
Other things to do tomorrow:
- finish my cover letters and send out the remaining job apps (I swear, I'm almost done!)
- finish sorting out my pictures from Easter and today and post them somewhere
- CLEAN MY ROOM!!!
- go swimming
- book a visit at the dentist
- e-mail Wilko finally
- update my LJ
- transfer money
- check tickets to India

This looks like a busy day, or rahter the whole day in front of my computer...

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:56:21 GMT

This place is absolutely gorgeous! I will post some pics on facebook later on. But now slowly, one thing at a time.

ok, so yesterday was nuts. It took the whole day to find all the things for the car and get it tunning. I went to bed at midnight and by 4 am I was already on the way here. 10 hours later I've reached my hotel, which by the way, is located on top of the mountain (15 km drive up!)
I need to get some sleep tonight, I swear. But I am going to czech republic today (maybe even Prague, it's only 100 km away), and hiking from early morning tomorrow!
Anyhow, I love this place and I love mountains!!!

I hate myself!

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 01:05:35 GMT

Old plan:
Warsaw on Wednesday, coming back at night/Thursday morning
Friday evening - mountains
Saturday/Sunday night - Prague (czeck republic)
Tuesday - Opole and visiting Asia

New plan:
Warsaw on Wednesday
...
and that's about it. I just had an accident. No more car, no more driving, no more mountains, no more Prague, no more Opole... FUCK!

On a positive note:
- the interview went well and I am waiting for the second one
- nobody got hurt in the crash. I have few stiches here and there and some small cuts from the broken window, but that's it.

things to do today

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 14:38:13 GMT

1. clean my room and the kitchen
2. finish my other job applications (deloitte)
3. finish 7bulls financial report for Michal
4. write my mom's geography final paper
5. check the oil in the car
6. go for a run!

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 14:31:58 GMT

my mother informed me yesterday that she is trying to be a mother... hhmmm... when will she understand that I am 23 years old and that I have my own life? Why does she have to talk about everything in terms of "we"?

anyhow, we are going to a spa in the mountains for Easter. I can't wait.
On Wednesday I have my first interview for Procter & Gamble. I am sort of freaked out, cos their tests and interviews seem kind of hard. But hopefuly things will go well :)

Ballet today was quite amusing. I came earlier and was working on some things on my own and for the first time my arabesque felt ok. The kids were amused when they came and then they asked me if I wanted to go out with them. We all had ice-cream and orange juice after the class :) egh...

Polish stock market is undergoing come problems, especially all the infrastructure related companies. Yes, I decided to invest in IT, and though the whole market seems to be sinking, I am making profits almost every minute :)

oh, and I am buying a new laptop next week (MacBook Pro) and I am buying a car next month :)

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 20:45:43 GMT

I love Warsaw more and more every day. Seiously. I can't wait to move there permanently.
ok, I applied to something like 20 different companies and some really want to employ me. For now I like P&G offer the most, but that one doesn't start until July (though I'd have time to go to India for almost 2 months). They would pay for my apartment rent and I would probably get a corporate car.
As for other companies - accenture really really wants me, but I am still waiting for a call from Deloitte. They also seemed very interested in hiring me, though if I work there I wouldn't be able to study at 2 universities at the same time.

other things. Today's stock market was a disaster. I lost lots of money and it was really not my fault. I knew what was going on and what to do, but there was a problem with the system and I couldn't log on for like 4 hours. And I lost over 2000 PLN!!! Seriously, it's very stressful at times...
anyhow, I am planning Easter. We are going either to SPA in the mountains, some small hotel in the middle of nowhere by the see or a shopping trip in Warsaw (I need a new computer, a PC this time or Mac dual core)

oh, and I was watching Kat's photos today. She made the final at BYU, US championships... and I am not dancing at all!!! I miss it sooooooooooo much... I so have to get back to it, the sooner the better...

mothers again...

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 22:11:24 GMT

ok, I am really really frustrated. I love my mom, really, but there are certain things that are just not working out!
On one hand, I want to stay at home and with my mom as long as possible. This way I am taking care of many of her obligations and she can take better care of herself. On the other hand, small town mentality is totally killing me and I am already going nuts.
OK, my mom's idea for MY life: she want's me to teach english in a local elementary school and comute to school every weekend... so the good thing about this is the fact, that I live at home and don't have to pay for rent. The bad thing is that I still stay in this town!!!
My mom needs to know the detail sof every single phone conversation I have, every single chat, everything. I have no privacy at all! She treats me like a little kid. Whenever she's tired and she's going to sleep, she orderes me to go to sleep too. Becasue if she's sleepy, I have to be tired as well, right? Isn't that obvious?
Oh, and she complains that I am late or that my room is messy, while she herself is late everywhere everytime, sometimes she doesn't even show up where she's supposed to be. With her it's fine, with me it's not. She hasn't cleaned or wached a thing since I came (not even a mug), and yet she complains that it's dirty after I've been away for couple of days! Seriously, I can't stand it at times.
Of course I love my mother, very much. But why does she have to be like this? Why does she have to shout at me all the time and humiliate me in public? And then she's shocked when I want to move out...